Launching with the Power of asking Favors

Here I am after almost a week since Abhijit tutored me on how to set up a blog. Since then I have not been able to write anything, not even a punchy launch message. One could say that getting to know the technicalities of how to set up a blog site has somehow sapped my energy and dampened my enthusiasm. Do I really have anything to say? Yes I do, or I believe I do.  Even if what I want to say is not earth shaking I still want to say it and want to say it to you. I want to have a conversation about politics, feminism, literature and cinema, art and opera. If I don't have these conversations I feel I might lose myself in nothingness or weirder still become my own nightmare - the somewhat entitled, superannuated woman living an extremely over-indulged part of the world. I am going to begin my first blog with an account of the power of asking for a favor.

Last Friday after days of procrastination I finally plucked up the courage to go and buy a carpet at Ikea. It was for my tenant who lives in the studio flat on the fourth floor. Ever since she moved in four months ago there have been pitched battles between her and the one over-sensitive-unused-to-living in-an-Amsterdam flat-type tenant (in all three women) living in the flat below. The charge - its very noisy. The owner of the flat reached the immediate conclusion that I had not properly insulated the floor (everything is wood). He treats me like a slightly daft foreign woman whom he can bully and this too after 18 years of knowing him. Finally my friends advised me that instead of digging up the floor I should try putting a carpet (not one of your Persian ones) on the floor to deaden the noise. First web search was with an extremely busy Catherine managing efficiently between the grandchildren and the web. She acquainted me with what I should be looking for. So I had an idea of what to buy. Off to Ikea then at 12 noon on Friday,  early enough not to have to catch the hordes that descend on the store. First mistake was to put on the GPS in the car to direct me. I had made countless trips with Heinz to Ikea but I just thought instead of relying on my failing memory I would would rely on technology instead. That was not to be. I was quite near but not at Ikea when the artificial voice assured me in German that I had reached my destination. My first 'asking a favor' encounter was when I stepped out of the car and asked a very nice young man for directions. He was very kind and gave me instructions which I found hard to follow. So I fiddled with the GPS and found the correct instructions and then lo and behold Ikea. I arrived after some false starts but following instructions at Ikea. So far so good.

I hate Ikea and the reasons are clear to see. The first false step is to get waylaid by the special exhibits  hall. I asked a my second favor for the day from an Ikea employee who was not yet too busy to lead me out and point me in the right direction. Then into the maze of exhibits and sections I walked. The carpets are right at the end of half an hour of walking time through exhibits that entice you and you think you need everything definitely. Luckily I lost my cart laden now with useless items in between somewhere. Then I took a resolute stand and an empty cart and walked determinedly. At the carpet section I had a moment of panic - if the size was correct then the color and thickness did not tally. Finally I just went for one that was almost the right size. And then second panic - it was 2.4 meters long and rolled up so I could not actually lift it into my trolley. Again asking for favors helped - a very nice employee helped me to get it into the trolley. Having paid at the efficient self check-out counter with help from another employee stationed there to assist technically handicapped people like me I asked where the section for home delivery was. I had already decided that the carpet could not be transported in the car only to be informed at the appropriate section by a sweet girl that the transport cost just as much as the cheap carpet I bought. She looked at me pityingly and said encouragingly that it would definitely fit into my car if I put the back seat down. I couldn't lift the carpet out? Well, I could ask one of the employees in the car park who managed the trolleys.

So into the car park I went and lo and behold I spied yet another young man who looked ready to be asked a favor. So I did. Sure he said and finished what he was doing and followed me to the car park. I confessed I didn't really know how to unhinge the cover in the boot of the car. No problem he said, his mother had one just like this. Everything done in a jiffy - the cover unhinged, the seat down and the carpet in. After profusely thanking the young man I drove home. I had another panic as to how I was going to unload it once home and worse still carry it up the Amsterdam stairs to my flat? I parked outside and thought about it and then I spied four young men lounging around a van smoking cigarettes. Ask them a favor? They looked slightly iffy in my jaundiced gaze. And then I made up my mind that worst come to worst, they could rudely refuse or just refuse. They were not Ikea employees whose job is to provide a service. Was I able to take that? Well, beggars can't be choosers and I was asking the favor. So I marched brightly all smiles up to the young men. They were actually rather taken aback that I was asking for help. After a stunned silence all four said sure tell us what we have to do.  They came with me to the car and then decided that one of the them was enough. He carried it up the stairs to my flat. Mission accomplished and thanking him profusely I came down to to the road again only to find that my helpful neighbor was at home that day. After a chat I asked him the favor of helping me to put the inside of the car right again including hinging the cover in the boot back again.

What pray has this got to do with the world situation, the evils of capitalism, the upcoming Indian elections, Brexit and the rise of hateful right wing politics in Europe? Well nothing really, at least not directly. But in this world of increasingly atomized individuals where people learn from day one to rely on themselves and perhaps their families what about people like me the older, single and perpetually foreign beings? We rely on the power of asking favors, making oneself vulnerable, and in solidarity. Sorry for going on but I cant promise to make future blogs shorter.